Poetry Reading in a Few Weeks!!

Hey guys,

A really good friend of mine who works at PM Gallery right here in Toronto is putting on an exhibit starting in mid-July that showcases some beautiful and fresh talent from Toronto. There will be tons of amazing paintings, video installations, poetry and possibly even some live music. In fact, she is letting me read some of my own poetry for at least one of the dates!!

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I don’t know if you can tell, but I am quite excited! Actually, I have never ever done anything like this. Ever. Ok, I lied. I have read my poetry aloud before. What I should say is I have never read my poetry aloud in such a formal setting before. I have had to write and recite poetry for school on a few occasions, however. But this…this my friends is something completely new and different for me. I know it’s not much, but it is definitely a step in the right direction for an aspiring young writer.

The theme of the exhibit is human interconnectivity in the heart of Toronto, whether it’s the downtown core or the mere outskirts of the city limits. It’s going to be a very intimate and well organized exhibit and I hope to see some of your lovely faces there! I will post more details as the dates approach. But right now, that’s all I know! I will also post links to the other artists’ official websites for your viewing pleasure!

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Sorry…I can’t help it. I am just so happy right now!! I feel as if my life is finally starting to come together. I literally weeks away from completing my degree and on top of that, I now have this incredible opportunity to look forward to. Better get cracking on writing some poems!!

M.I.A.

Ok so I realize this isn’t the first time that I have written a post of this nature but I do feel as if I have some explaining to do. For the past few months–or however long it’s been since my last post–I have been neglecting my blog. Not that I haven’t been thinking about it constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I have been wanting to post something for a very long time but things keep constantly coming up as they often do. I am alive and kicking, however. I was hoping that I would have more time to blog this summer because I was supposed to be finished with school completely by now and working on getting my life on track, but life has thrown me a slight curve ball. Alas, I am in summer school, working and also helping my father with his business as well. So in light of all of this my writing, and subsequently my blogging, have both been placed on the backburner for the time being. The funny thing is, I am actually always writing… it’s just in my head rather on paper or in a digital format. I have tons of ideas but I just haven’t had the time or the energy to actually work on anything.
Also, I have been seeing this guy for over five months now–my first, well, everything, really–and things are going really well in the romance department. (Hopefully I won’t find a way to screw it up haha.) He is just wonderful. He treats me really well, but not like a princess which I like. He doesn’t patronize me like a lot of guys do to their girlfriends and we both have an easy time communicating things to each other. For instance, if I don’t like something I can just tell him ( and vice versa) and rather than either one of us getting offended, we will just talk about it rationally. I had no idea that having a boyfriend would be like that. To be honest, from what I have seen a lot of my friends go through, I thought it was going to be nothing but drama. But the truth is, Marco (that’s his name) and I get along really well. I also always thought that if I ever got a boyfriend I would get bored of him very easily but that isn’t the case at all. In fact with each passing day, it just gets more and more exciting. I actually want to see him more. I know thid must all seem very mature to all you seasoned dating veterans out there; but for me, this feeling of always wanting to be around the same person and being in love is very new. I have never felt this need or desire to this extent in my life. And I have to say, it’s a very nice feeling .

Check out this playlist on Songza

I’m Listening to “Hurting (Benoit & Sergio Remix)” by Friendly Fires (on Electro Fantasy) http://songza.com/listen/electro-fantasy-songza via @Songza Android app

3 Desis, A Diva and a (very) Delighted Patron

3 Desis, A Diva and a (very) Delighted Patron.

3 Desis, A Diva and a (very) Delighted Patron

Last Sunday, I attended a play called 3 Desis and a Diva, written by the very talented Jenny Alexander. Like myself, you may be wondering what a desi is. Well according to dictionary.com, desi is the Hindi word for an “indigenous or local” person. The play itself is about three young men–two brothers and their very uptight cousin–who are all in search of some kind of universal truth about life. In a sense, they all harbour very common desires out of life that surely many people can identify with: love; acceptance; success; and, above all, happiness. Together, they each embark on a personal, yet interconnected journey of finding themselves in a very confusing and oftentimes disappointing world.

Whimsical, humourous, poignant and at times extremely melancholy, this is a show that draws upon all of the basic elements of the human condition that make any work of art truly great and worthwhile. So, if you want to support local theater in Toronto, come out to the Winchester (51 Winchester St, Toronto ON), sit back, relax, order a pint and enjoy the show! It has something for everyone. Love, laughter, lamentations.
But hurry! The show ends tomorrow (March 10th) night! So, if you will be in Toronto, you can pick up your tickets here!

Also, join the facebook page or follow them on twitter (@3DesisAndADiva) for more information and to leave a comment after the show.

Poppin’ Some Tags

I am currently obsessed with this song! It describes exactly how I feel every time I walk into Value Village, or as my friend and I call it, VV Boutique haha.

Another reason I love it is because I used to actually work at Value Village, so I’ve actually encountered many interesting and cool people who shared my same liking for sifting through random thrift store items in search of that one awesome, vintage yet rare treasure. It really is like a treasure hunt! You’d be surprised how many cool things you can actually find in a thrift store. Next time I visit VV Boutique, I think I will blast this song.

Happy Birthday to Me!

In precisely one hour, I will be turning 23 years old. It become somewhat of a tradition on my birthday to listen to What’s My Age Again by Blink 182. It’s a little cliche, I know, but it makes me happy. Also, I am a very nostalgic person and therefore have a hard time letting go of things that hold sentimental value to me. Unfortunately, sometimes it is a necessary evil to let go.
As I reflect upon this past year of my life, I realize that a lot has changed. People have come in and out of my life. I’m certainly not the same person I was this time around last year. At least I hope I’m not. I’d like to say that I am a much better person than I was last year. I’d like to say that I have learned from all of the mistakes I made and the people I’ve encountered. But only time will tell on that. One thing I can say is that I am definitely wiser. I take more time to make decisions and even though I don’t always listen to or follow other people’s advice; I always take it into consideration. For there is no greater mistake in my view than to be narrow minded about anything.
The world is full of possibilities and promise even when things seem mundane or grey. Do I have regrets? A few. Would I change anything? Absolutely not. Regrets are not signs of failure or dissatisfaction in my view; instead they are markers of the fact that you have grown and matured enough as a person to acknowledge that you have made mistakes in the past. Acknowledgement is the first step to forgiving yourself.
I’ve decided to forgive all of the people who have mistreated me this past year and I hope that the favour will be sincerely returned. Birthdays are a great time to receive presents, but an even better time to evaluate your life, the person you were, are and want to become.
That is all. At this juncture, my 23rd year will be getting mixed reviews. Many good things have happened; but of course, these were countered with numerous trials and tribulations which I am still facing to this day.

Trying Not to Crumble Under the Pressure…

…but it’s too difficult. Everything is so daunting. I feel like I have involuntarily entered into a new chapter of life, like I am losing control and everyone else around me is gaining the upper hand. I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing, but just going along for the ride. I am simultaneously the driver and the passenger of this vehicle called life. Anyone know what I am talking about?

I try to see the beauty in everything, but how can I when I am constantly surrounded by negativity? Negativity is a word that seems to be synonymous with family these days. Don’t get me wrong; I love my family. But they are not exactly the most stable people to be around…and that’s putting it far too mildly. I feel like I can’t really be myself around them because everything I do or say is being grossly judged, ridiculed or misunderstood. Can you imagine what it’s like to feel this way in your own home? I can because I do.

I want to move out, but am worried this may cause too many problems. For one thing, I can’t afford it. For another, they would see it as merely another way for me to get away from them. Well, they’re not wrong. But that’s not the only reason I want to leave. Another reason is simply because being in this house is completely stifling all of my creativity and I feel as if I am stuck or plateaued here.

My birthday is coming up. Another thing in my life I don’t have control over. Everyone wants to see me, go out, get drunk and have a blast. But when I try to explain what I really want for my own birthday, nobody listens. I try to tell people I just want to keep it simple this year. I don’t have the energy to plan something big, get all excited about it, invite a whole bunch of people only to have them tell me “I don’t know if I can make it…but I will let you know!” (liar!) or “It’s a maybe for now, but I’ll get back to you” and then I never hear from them again. Every year this happens. Every year people make a big thing out of my birthday and then they get me all excited by expressing how badly they want to celebrate with me and every year I plan an outing or a dinner or something of that sort and every year I am stuck hounding people to see if they can make it at the last minute. Basically, every year, I am even more disappointed than the year before.

It’s not the process of aging or getting older that’s made me jaded about birthdays. It’s the annual routine that goes along with it that makes me age faster and realize that age is just a number and there is nothing really all that important about it. This year, all I want to do is meet some friends for foryo and then head over to a bar and watch my friend’s play. That’s it. Simple enough, I hope. If people show up, great. If not, more froyo for me !

That’s My Jam

This is an awesomely fun, catchy and cute new song by Relient K from their new album hopefully coming out soon! This is literally the only thing that is getting me through school right now, the knowledge that in a few months I will be riding my bike down the street with the sun beating on my back and this song blasting in my ears!

Lonely Thoughts on a Lonely Bus…Something of the Past.

I look at people on the bus, people with friends. People talking on the phone. People socializing, accidentally bumping into people they know. That used to happen to me. I used to have conversations on the bus. I used to have things to talk about. I used to have people to talk to. Now I find myself with more and more time on my hands and I don’t know what to do with myself. I used to be good at so many things. Especially writing. It used to come so easily to me like breathing. I was confident that it was my calling in life. What am I gonna do? There’s nothing else. There is no plan b. If this doesn’t work out, my life is over. It may sound melodramatic but it’s the truth. I’ve considered other options but nothing else is possible. Nothing else makes me happy. But what can I do? It’s the only thing that makes me happy and it’s gone.

Disclaimer: I wrote this a while ago on a particularly shitty and lonely day. I just found it among my older drafts and decided to post it not because I still feel this way, but as a reminder of how far I’ve come along since then and how much happier I am now. That being said, I think the real melancholy of this particular piece lies in the fact that these kinds of momentary bouts of sadness–fleeting as they are–make up for quite a few of my most meaningful and insightful moments in life. There is something to be said for solitary contemplation and reflection in public places. Just watching things and people around you as they live and breathe can be so inspirational; yet, at the same time you start to truly realize, not just know but understand that no matter what life really does go on and in that moment on the bus I was witnessing it firsthand. Re-reading this reminded me of just how alone I felt in that moment and it also made me grateful for how good I feel now because I know that happiness, just like sadness, is shortlived.